2002 Oettinger Audi A4

Its 400 bhp are spread among four fat slabs of Pirelli rubber. Judging by the sweet fragrance wafting through the stainless-steel exhaust, it's on a mega-vitamin-type diet of 103-octane race fuel. You wouldn't know it, though, because the exhaust tone is quieter than a fish fart-big turbos tend to do that, muffle dangerous noises. Pick first gear, point the wheels straight and stab it-the front tires rip chunks from the pavement before the torque is transferred aft. In third gear, it's still fighting for traction.

Great story, isn't it? Too bad it doesn't pertain to the fine-looking specimen on these pages. Although it looks tougher than a Kommando Spezialkraefte, its uniform is largely cosmetic. But that's okay, because someone somewhere is no doubt building a machine with the performance capabilities to match this car's handsome exterior. And when it's finished, we'll be there.

Audi's new A4 is not just new, it's really new. The platform received hundreds of changes, some visible and others not. Among the obvious is its styling, a bold new look that makes a clean break from its (still handsome) predecessor. The 2002 A4 is 2.3 in. longer overall with 1.3 in. more wheelbase and a 0.5-in. increase in height, and it sports a body that is 45-percent stiffer. It's also a bit fatter but makes up for it with an additional 10 bhp.

Although it's debatable whether or not these changes make the car sportier, one thing is clear-the new A4 is a more refined piece of machinery.

Oettinger's tuning program for the new A4 is meant to sharpen the car's edge, and the car responded well to the treatment. The striking bodywear comes from Oettinger's own line and here consists of a front bumper spoiler, side skirts, rear wing and roof spoiler, all wrought from PUR-RIM and appearing to be on par with Audi's high quality. The headlamps are high-tech European units and provide a huge swath of illumination, even with the low beams-it was nearly impossible to over-drive them.

A prototype suspension (dampers and springs) replaced the factory's underpinnings, and I have to believe this setup had more to do with retaining the A4's superb ride quality than compromising it for race-car-like handling. The A4 still had a significant amount of body roll through the corners, but Oettinger is undoubtedly working on a more aggressive suspension combination for the future.

Running gear is also from Oettinger-RZ wheels that measure 8.5x19 in. and carry Pirelli's ubiquitous P7000 rubber, here sized at 235/35R-19. I had the tires screaming after the first corner and tortured them mercilessly until they felt hot enough to catch fire. The P7000s are good tires, not great ones.

With the advent of the new 2002 models, Audi's 1.8t motor has been equipped with a Multi-Motronic management system that features new blocks of code and newly calculated check sums. That means until a few well-placed computer guys get factory help, Oettinger's wonderful 240-bhp turbo upgrade kit won't be seeing any action. It's just a matter of time.

The Audi's freshened interior features Oettinger's beautifully contoured steering wheel and shift knob, and Oettinger mats lie underfoot. The cabin is simply a lovely place with more warmth and comfort than many homes.

Oettinger's A4 attracted more than its share of attention on the roads of L.A., from moms in Chevy Astros to the spoilered Honda boys. Although I don't care too much about that sort of stuff (I tell myself that, anyway), it was nice basking in its glow. Back up the car's beauty with some brawn, though, and I'll get really excited.