2004 Volkswagen Phaeton V8

A VW dealer print campaign for the Phaeton asks, "What have we been smoking?" I can just imagine Dr. Piech and crew sitting around a giant hookah pipe listening to Morcheeba while kicking back in Scirocco Hall. Between exhales, Piech says something like "Ya know what'd be cool? Let's make a really great car before I leave. Come on, we've already got most of the parts...it'll be fun. Oh, and Pischetsrieder, stop bogarting the Oreos."

Yeah, I'm sure it went down just like that.

Call it an experiment if you will but the last project of Piech's legacy is without question the finest car to ever wear the Volkswagen badge. If it was the good doctor's intention to move upscale, he did so with brilliant verve. It only takes a few minutes behind the wheel to realize the Volkswagen Phaeton is a very special car. Whatever they're smoking in Wolfsburg, I want some.

Unlike the misunderstood Passat W8, the Phaeton is a significant departure in design for VW. For one thing it's big and imposing. People tend to get out of the way when you roll up, like Tony Soprano leaving a loading dock. Measuring 203 in. end to end (the biggest VW ever), the Phaeton's dimensions leave it with a profile very similar to Mercedes' S-Class and BMW's 7 Series and, of course, Audi's A8.

Competing against these well established marques seems folly-who's going to spend 72 grand for a Volkswagen? Well, after VW develops its neurolyzer, a device to erase the automotive consciousness from the car-buying public, the answer will be many. It's best to experience the Phaeton without knowing what it is. Don't think of it as an established manufacturer's attempt to go upscale but rather a company's quest to build the best car it can.

Our long-term Phaeton V8 lists at $64,600 and includes a staggering list of standard features: a 335-bhp 4.2-liter engine mated to a six-speed tiptronic gearbox, navigation/trip computer, auto leveling air suspension with electronic dampening control, Onstar(tm), xenon headlamps, real wood trim, a leather clad cabin, power-assisted trunk lid, premium Bose(r) stereo with six-disc CD changer, glass sunroof, 18-way adjustable/ventilated/heated power seats, HomeLink(r), privacy screens, 18-in. alloy wheels (a no-charge option) and the entire gamut of Volkswagen's driving aids (4Motion, ESP, ASR, EBD, etc.). Given the high degree of performance and luxury, the Phaeton is actually a bargain. Plan on spending another $10- to $20K for a comparably equipped BMW, Mercedes or Audi.

We optioned our Luna Blue Phaeton with the Comfort and Cold Weather Packages, which include rear adjustable ventilated/massage seats ($2,900), electronic parking assist ($1,150), keyless access ($500) and an upgraded 270-watt stereo ($1,000). Additionally, there was a $1,300 gas-guzzler tax, a $150 California/Northeast emissions charge and a $615 destination charge. Totaled up, our Phaeton V8 cost $72,215-about the same amount as two fully appointed Passats.

It doesn't take long to become familiar with the Phaeton. All the basic controls are well placed and the seating position lends a commanding view of the road. The climate control is accessed through the main dashboard screen and gives you the option of establishing your comfort level and of those around you. Or, they can do it themselves via their own controls. My only gripe is you must set the menu to "climate" and bring up that screen every time you adjust the fan speed and vent position. Most of the controls are accessed this way and can be frustrating for first-time drivers.

My first substantial road trip took me some 120 miles south to the Scripps Institute in San Diego. The V8 has more than enough grunt to move the Phaeton's 5,200-lb chassis with remarkable authority. The Phaeton cuts through traffic like a much smaller car and makes me wonder why anyone would pay the extra premium for the 12-cylinder model. Moreover, the Phaeton V8's transmission manages to instantly engage the correct gear and keep the engine in the meat of the powerband. The "sport" setting is even more aggressive and tends to hold gears even longer. There's nothing quite like the sound of a German V8 bouncing off the rev limiter. A light foot can render some 16 to 18 mpg, which isn't too bad given the car's generous proportions.